The Elf

I have posted before (I think several times) about my beef with Santa. It is sometimes confusing to explain why we need to give to other kids at Christmas when Santa can just do it. The perfect example is what happened when we pulled our Angel Tree ornament from the tree. We were reading what the little girl requested for Christmas and M said, "Why doesn't Santa bring what she wants?" This leads me to backtracking and sort of making up things that makes Santa not look like a meanie--and kind of undermining how blessed my kids are and the importance of giving charitably. I could be mad at him---but he is just so much dang fun!

Over the weekend, my mother gave the kids an Elf on the Shelf. They have been talking about this toy since last year! They begged to get it out of the box and start right away. Which means we have to remember to hide it---EVERY NIGHT UNTIL CHRISTMAS! Sunday night I shot straight out of the bed at 3 in the morning because I remembered the crazy elf! And yes, I got out of the bed searched for it in the dark and hid the little thing.

The kids start searching for the elf the minute they get out of bed. Yesterday, after M found the elf she said, "I knew it was going to be in the sunroom. The elf was sending messages to my head. It was saying sunroom, sunroom, sunroom." Seriously? Sounds like the beginning of a scary movie.

That night we couldn't find her blankie. She said, "Do you think Alex the elf took it?" I explained to her that the elf was not mean. She replied, "Well, if I'm really bad, do you think that Santa will tell the elf to take my blanket?" OK-- my beef with Santa came back to the surface. I said, "M!! Santa does not rule the world! He can't do that kind of stuff! He does not rule the world! Who rules the world?" She said sheepishly, "I know God does." Your right and God would not want to take your blankie!

So, now I have a beef with an elf and the fat man!

Anticipation

I am so excited! It is the Holiday Season--I feel it!! Isn't it funny how the Holiday Season is the only thing that makes waiting fun? Usually, I hate to wait. In fact, I feel like a lot of what I do is wait----waiting in carpool line, waiting for tennis lesson to be finished, piano lesson, cheerleading to be finished. But with the holidays the anticipation is part of the fun! Here are some of the things I am anticipating....

1. hiding the elf on the shelf
2. dressing the kids up like pilgrims or Indians
3. walking through all the Christmas decor at Wal mart
4. having my family over for Thanksgiving and
5. packing up the family (for the first time ever) to see family out of town--even if it is only 1 hour away. This is something that we usually don't get to do-because most of both sides of our families are right here in town.
6. our local Christmas parade (which G hates-but has to endure every year)
7. my mom and sister's church doing their live nativity scene
8. the searching....and searching for some of the hot ticket Christmas gifts for my kids
9. and especially Christmas EVE---I love it

and a new addition to my anticipation........Dec. 7
going to see the Pioneer Woman !!!!!! Yes, Joni and I will be travelling to a cookbook signing!!! Woo Hoo-----Here we come P-dub! By the way, DOES ANYONE HAVE A BABY I CAN BORROW? PREFERABLY A CUTE ONE WITH A CUTE OUTFIT? MAYBE TWINS? NEWBORNS? She loves babies and I'm thinking if I just stand out a little bit she will realize that we were meant to be great friends, and then she will invite me to the ranch. So much to anticipate--the list could go on and on. I'm ready to get started! Anyone seen any pillow pets for sale?

Outward Appearances

Lately, I have been trying to talk to MJ about "stranger danger". From that I have to answer about 1 million hypothetical questions a day like:
What if a person who I know, but looks different than before, asks me to give them some candy?
or
What if I'm walking down the street and someone who looks like a grandma wants me to come with her and then I do and then she makes me go swimming without my floaties?

Most of the hypothetical questions don't make much sense and are kind of funny. So my ears perked up when she said, "What if a stranger takes me and then I die?" To which I said, "Well, I don't think that will happen and I will try my hardest to keep you safe. But if it did, I would be very sad. But you would be happy because you would be with God."
Then the conversation changed topics, as it does with a 4 year old.
"Mom, what does God look like?"
"Well, I'm not really sure. We won't really know until we get to heaven."
"Oh, mom, I've seen Him."
"You have? Well, what does He look like?"
" He is a black man."
"Oh, well. He might be."

I'm wondering if that has something to do with the Christmas shopping experience we had today. We went to a local doll shop to pick out some items for their wish list. D and MJ want a Lee Middleton adoption doll. They were picking the babies out from the "nursery". D got the one that looked most like her, and MJ picked the African American babydoll. I didn't ask any questions. I don't know if she picked it because the doll looked like God's baby doll, but I'm so glad that all colors are beautiful to her!!

Halloween

Halloween was different this year. In years past, the kids were so little and slow that after making it around to 3-4 houses, they would want to head home to hand out candy to the other kids. Those Halloweens moved at a snail's pace. I can remember G and I standing out at the road while the kids moved slowly across yards, timidly rang the doorbells, and returned to us proud of their loot. It wasn't too long ago that we watched MJ climb the stairs to the other houses thinking, Can she do this by herself? Will she fall? BUT ALL THAT HAS CHANGED!
This year we could not keep up with them! I was constantly saying where are they? Where is this one? Where is that one? They were moving at the speed of light.


I had to threaten Tinkerbell to get her to stop long enough for me to capture the memory.

Riding in the back of truck--no seat belts--they loved it!!

M was a scary witch and D was Little Red Riding Hood. In order to take this picture, I made them stop. Can you see the tense and fake smiles?

I realize that our lives are following the same trend as our Halloween experience. When they were little, it seemed that time was moving in slow motion. The days seemed to last forever. But now, I don't know where all the time is going. It seems like yesterday was the first day of school--and here we are ready to celebrate the holiday season.

It seems like every empty nester we talk to says the same thing--"You better enjoy this. You will turn around and they will be all grown up." I have to admit that I always say the same thing to them, "That's what I keep hearing." And I'm thinking, "Yeah, right. I'm exhausted. Last night lasted forever. Do you expect me to believe the years are flying by?" But now I see... I can already feel this weird phenomenon of child rearing. The time is whizzing by. Hopefully, this will be inspiration to enjoy every moment!!

It is fall. The leaves are changing, and it feels great outside. I guess that is why my blogging has slacked a little. Who wants to be inside on the computer with all that is going on outside? That is exactly what M and D think. They were supposed to be inside doing their homework and this is where I found them. They were actually doing their homework---just in a tree!!

Commentary

Poor D....She has had a rough month. After battling the swine flu, I thought her turn for sickness would be over. But no...life isn't fair....

I ask you, "What is worse than grocery shopping at Wal-Mart?"
Answer: Getting a phone call from school, while grocery shopping at Wal-Mart, that a child is throwing up...."

I hurriedly threw my groceries in the car and rushed to the school. It was pick up time for MJ so she commentated the events that I missed out on.....

MJ:"Mom, D frew up on her clothes...so we were hanging out in the office."

Then on the way home.....MJ: "Mom, D is frowing up!! It is in her hands....she just did like this (insert re-enactment). And it is all over her." At this point, MJ is craning her neck all the way around to watch her poor sister.... "Mom, she just did it again. Mom, what will happen if she does it again? We should get a bag. Mom, what would happen if we get out of the car and go to chick-fil-a and D frows up in the parking lot and no one can get in the restaurant? Mom, do you think that D is going to frow up on me? When we get home, is she going to frow up all over the house?"

This kind of running commentary can't make D feel any better. It continued on as MJ tried to figure out ways she could still make it to her ballet class with a sick sister..."Maybe, we could sit D in another room with a bag, and she could just frow up in the bag, while I do my ballet." Nice try....

I love to hear the chatter from my backseat when I pick up MJ. Her pick up time is at 12, so I have a couple of hours one on one time with her. I am not surprised to hear her teachers say that she doesn't talk AT ALL during her school day. M and D were the same way. But, when I pick her up it just starts all tumbling out. All of her words have been stuffed down, and the second the car door shuts they come out in a rush and don't stop.....
The conversation we had yesterday was priceless. The second the teacher walked away she said, "Mommy, Elijah asked me to marry him, and I said yes, but I was about to tell him that I didn't really want to. That I really just want to marry a girl."
Her father's reaction? "Good. That was a good answer-----for right now."

Plugged In

Saturday morning we woke up to find that our cable, internet, and telephone service was out. This sounds like no big deal. Ok. Let me rephrase that. This sounds like no big deal to those people who live in another part of the country or world where on Saturdays, in the fall, you do something other than watch football. I guess they play soccer? garden? um..weave baskets? I have no idea...What color is the sky in that world, I wonder? But here in the south---by golly---if it is a Saturday you best have some cable TV!!!!!!

Which is what I tried to explain to various comcast representatives that spoke with various different accents. When they didn't seem panicked after hearing my problem, I would (quite bluntly) say, "Wait a minute. Where are you? After their hesitant response I would say emphatically---WELL- I am in the SOUTH and Alabama and Georgia are playing today, and not each other--because then I wouldn't be acting half as nice as I am now. However, even though I know Alabama will beat Kentucky profusely---we pay money each month so WE CAN WATCH IT."

These people are pros. They know I can't find them. So, they are very calm when they tell me over and over again how they can't get a tech out until Monday. And not just Monday....they have the nerve to tell me my problem won't even be handled first thing!! I get the time slot of 2-5......

In the midst of all this, it did not fail to resonate with me that I kept saying to the reps., "You mean to tell me that I have to go 3 days disconnected from the rest of the world?"
Disconnected to me, I guess means:
1. talking to my husband
2. watching my 2 girls cheer at a pee wee football game where,
3. I talked to several friends and
4. talked at length with my sister in law
5. went to a good friends' daughters' bday party
6. talked to people on my cell phone
7. hung out with a couple that we have fun with, at their house, while our kids played outside
8. went to church and saw at least 100 people
9. went to my mother in laws and celebrated a family birthday and
10 watched a movie we rented at blockbuster.

If those comcast workers could have seen me---they would have felt so sorry for me....all alone...and disconnected.

SWINE-SHMINE

I am one of those people who are TOTALLY disenchanted with the media. If they are sayin' it-I'm not believin' it. I think it all started with the whole Y2K "phenomenon". It seems that the media feels it is successful only when they produce pure panic among the people.

I never worried about the West Nile Virus. We live in the South. I would have 10 mosquito bites before I made it to my car in the drive way, and I never knew anyone to contract it. Plus, I figured after 1 million mosquito bites and still no virus--I must be immune to it.

You never see me clearing out the bread aisle during a "winter advisory".

So, when the media started in on the swine flu....quite frankly.....I didn't even pay attention. I mean I could hear them talking about it, but it sounded to me much like the teacher on Charlie Brown.

It is not that I didn't think it existed---I just didn't think anyone I knew would actually come down with it.

When D started running a high fever Fri. after school I calmly took her to Urgent Care so she would not have to suffer through the weekend. I kept reading the signs that said, "If you are showing symptoms of flu-please ask for a mask." She just had fever--so that didn't apply to us...

Imagine my surprise when the doctor stated she had the flu. And then imagine my surprise when he nonchalantly told me she had the dreaded H1N1!!

This media desensitized momma.....FREAKED. I mean I wasn't scared of the swine flu when I thought no one would actually get the pig disease.

I started stuttering.....IIIII....mmmeannn....should I be a-a-alarmed? I mean should I r-r-ush her to the nearest hospital? And I'm thinking to myself---Why is this guy just standing there? Why is he not ushering us to some padded room or bubble and slapping masks on us?? Why is he not giving me some sort of instruction?

Fast forward a couple of days.....and now I know why he didn't panic. D was up the next morning-playing-eating-smiling and fever free. The sky did not fall. If the media ever reports something that IS an actual threat--it will wipe my family out--because I won't believe it.

Swine flu--shmine flu.

300

I can't believe it! I have reached the milestone of 300 posts to this blog! Don't worry--I'm not going to make a list of 300 things to commemorate the milestone. The only appropriate list that could contain 300 items would be titled, "300 things I could/should be doing instead of posting on this blog."






It would probably start with 1. Laundry--- and end with 300. Clean out crumbs in plastic silverware tray thingie.








Even though I do in fact waste a lot of time on blogger world---I also have recorded moments that would have otherwise been long forgotten. For instance--the time D had a bad dream or my run ins with the Devil Corporation. And definitely milestones like growing up and just growing.





I have also made new friends and kept up with old ones.

I have learned from the pioneer woman my cooking limitations.

But mostly I have learned that life is full and even in the dark times it is pretty darn special.

I love the artist who does the Story People prints........and I think this saying puts my wasted time on blogspot perfectly.....

Everything changed the day she figured out there was exactly enough time for the important things in her life.